How entering the world of fetish changes one's life.
Next week marks twelve years of filming content for Bound2Burst. The very first shoot was on 20th October 2006 with Nichole at her home. At that time, I had no idea how far things would go. I was fully employed back then and could only film on weekends, but I had the energy to work all week and film on a Saturday or Sunday. Not sure I could now. Growing old is a bastard. That aside, the thing I want to talk about here is the unexpected ways in which creating fetish material (or what most people like to call "porn") changes everything in one's world.
At first, there is just the thrill of doing something most people would not approve of, so I used to run around with this little secret which gave an edge to everything I did. It changed my perspective on life in general, but mostly in ways I did not anticipate. The change which dawned on me first was how separate these two worlds are: With models, one can discuss almost anything because they are so open minded. This made me more aware of how restrictive conversations with vanilla people actually are. We all know what's its like to socialize, where you get asked what you do, you tell the other party, they yawn and walk away. Everything is so superficial. After having liberated talks with the girls, conversations with everyone else got to be tiresome.
Both my wife and I even started to find it hard to hang out with vanilla friends. This was acutely true for me when I stopped working and began producing fetish movies full time, because they ask questions like, "How's work?" "Actually, I've retired." "Oh really? What are you doing with your time?" "Relaxing." "No, really, you have to be doing something." "I go for walks, enjoy the garden, stuff like that." "You must get so bored..."
In time, all conversations go this way. We both found we had to lie to friends constantly, and that gets old. Over time, we had less and less contact with them. We started to make new friends, which is to say with some of the models. My wife even went on a vacation with one of them so that she could have fun and not have to worry about saying something she shouldn't. We were living in a different world, and as the years go by, it has become increasingly clear that there is no going back.
We did try telling a couple of vanilla friends what we do. One took it quite well, the other clearly didn't approve. I'd always thought of him as a broad-minded individual but he was clearly appalled, perhaps because he had two teenage daughters and he suddenly saw me as some kind of predator. It was a sobering experience and made it clear that we would not be sharing the news with anyone else.
It's a good thing we were fairly isolated before we entered the world of fetish because that meant the effects on us were minimal in terms of social contact. For someone more gregarious, however, it might be a bigger problem. Do I have any regrets? Not for a second. Much as I enjoyed most of my career, I would not want to go back to it now.
Another change which occurred quite early on was my reaction to nude women. I have to confess, I was never much for lusting after naked bodies; I have always preferred to see a woman elegantly dressed, then if there was ever a reveal it was more exciting. Having nudity thrust in my face did very little for me. For that reason, I believe I took to having naked models running about the house with ease. There have been shoots where three or four of them are here at one time, and between videos, they stay naked. They sit on the floor and eat lunch naked. One reaches a point where one practically forgets they are naked. I believe if most people could get past their silly hangups, many of which spawn from worshipping imaginary beings, the world would be a place with far fewer problems. Perhaps then we could even focus on stuff that actually matters. Then again, millions of people vote for Trump, so maybe not.